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Golf Jokes from Goway

  • Golf jokes submitted by John Buller and Lindsay O'Connor
  • Golf balls are like eggs ~ they're white.
  • Golf Jokes From Goway

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Please enjoy the following golf jokes submitted by John Buller and Lindsay O'Connor from Toronto, Canada, If you have other appropriate golf jokes, we will be happy to receive and acknowlege you.

* Golf balls are like eggs ~ they're white. They're sold by the dozen… and a week later you have to buy more.
* A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
* It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
* When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard or go to church?
* Golf is by far the ultimate love / hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.
* It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.  
* A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfers from giving up the game.  
* Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or alligators either.
* Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.
* A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.
* That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
* If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.  
* If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.  
* You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine!
* Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.
* It's a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not choosy about which fairway.
* If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.
* The greatest sound in golf is the Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh, of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway.  
* A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.  

A priest, a doctor, a rich businessman and a Scotsman were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The doctor said, "I've never seen such poor golf!"
The Scotsman chimed in, "Aye! We ha' been waitin' for nigh on fifteen minutes!"

The businessman called out, "Move it you guys, time is money."
The priest said, "Here comes George the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hello, George!" Said the priest, "What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
George the greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free, anytime they want to."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleagues and see if there's anything they can do for them."
The businessman replied, "I think I'll donate $350,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls."
The Scotsman said, "Why can't they play at night?"




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